these are the lips that taste no freedom
by hollyhobbit101
Summary: You've never done well with being locked up, and each day in here is the same. Tag to 12x08, LOTUS


**A/N: Hi people! I hope you're all having a fantastic 2017 so far. It's been a long time since I updated anything but that's because I've had mock exams for a while and revision for that, plus life in general, kind of took me over. But I'm back now! This is Dean's tag for LOTUS. I've done one already for Cas and Sam which are up on my profile under the names 'i swore i'd never fall again' and 'your mind is not your own'. You don't have to read them to understand this as they're all stand-alones but you can if you want.**

* * *

On day one you do everything you can to get out of that cell. You bang your fists on the door and walls until they bleed and you scream until your throat is raw but no one comes. No one cares about the lunatic who tried to kill the President.

(They don't know that you're the reason they're even still alive; that you have saved their sorry asses more times than you can remember)

* * *

On day two you yell out for your brother. You haven't seen Sam since you were shoved into this box and they kept walking with him but you're hoping he's near. You shout once every half hour (or so you think; there's no way of telling time here) but if he hears he doesn't let on. You begin to worry because Sam hasn't done well with small spaces since the Cage and you wonder how he's holding up.

(The voice in the back of your mind questions if, but you push it down because you can't stand to think of your little brother _not_ holding up)

* * *

On day seven you begin to pray. You did check in with Cas when you first got caught but you only told him the barest details and he deserves to know more. You've never been one for the whole knees to the floor thing but you do close your eyes, imagining Cas's face in front of you. You realise that you don't know what to say and end up just telling him that you and Sam are fine and everything's okay.

(They're all lies, of course, but that's just what you do. You lie and lie and lie until even you don't know what the truth is)

* * *

By day sixteen you're climbing the walls. You've never been able to stay in one place for more than a week or so without going stir crazy and this is no different. You used to get cooped up in the Bunker all the time, but at least there you had things to clean, or cars to wash, or artefacts to categorise. Here there's nothing. Nothing but you and your thoughts.

(You try not to think, but it doesn't really work. It never has, but usually there's a job to distract you)

* * *

Day 28 marks one month in this pit. The days have started to blur together into one monotonous routine and if it weren't for the scratches you made on the wall you wouldn't know how long you've been here. You eat when meals come. You sleep when you need to rest. You pace and stretch and wait and the earth keeps on turning.

(You wonder if the world can do without you after all; in the end, you have been the cause of all of its problems)

* * *

On day 39 you begin to lose hope. They told you today that they're going to put you on trial but you don't doubt the outcome. They think you and Sam were trying to assassinate the President, and it's not like you can explain that he was in fact possessed by the archangel Lucifer and you were only trying to send him back to Hell. It's not the first time you've stared death in the face and lost.

(Not the first time but it will be the last, Billie will make sure of that)

* * *

On day 43 you think of Mom. You wonder if she knows about your arrest and find yourself hoping that she doesn't. Better she stays away thinking her sons are alive and well than living life in a supermax in the middle of nowhere. A pang of sadness hits you because she was going to come home and you were going to be a real family again.

(At times like this you wish Amara had never brought her back in the first place)

* * *

Day 50 is heralded by shouts and sirens blaring. You rush to your cell door and press your ear to it to try and hear what's going on but as suddenly as the noise started it all stops again. Hurried footsteps come rushing down the corridor and you back up, raising your fists to defend yourself, but then a fists bangs on the door and a familiar deep voice sounds. You smile grimly.

(They think you're just crazy, and maybe they're right, but you're also Winchesters and Winchesters aren't easily held)

* * *

 **A/N: I hope you liked that! It's taken a while to write because yay exams but thankfully I've finished it now. I tried something new with this so I hope it all worked alright.**

 **Anyone who follows Our Broken Souls - thank you for your patience! There should be a new chapter up before First Blood airs.**

 **Please leave a review if you have a moment! Bye!**


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